Observations
by lrigD
Summary: Mere thoughts on the team, with only a small story line. I suck at summaries so please look inside!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: No, they're not mine

Disclaimer: No, they're not mine. If they were, I probably wouldn't be writing this.

Now we've finished that, a little explanation…

This is not so much as fic as contemplation on the team… It's been a while since I last saw an episode, I have only read lots of fanfics so I might be a little off-key here.

I'm trying it out, because this seriously is the first fanfic I've written that was other than Harry Potter, so please be kind to me .

It was a silent night. Everybody was exhausted from the case they had just closed, having been unable to prevent the unsub for killing some more teenagers before he was finally caught. Now, Morgan, Reid and she were sitting in the bullpen, while Hotch, JJ and Rossi were in their respective offices.

Cases with children or teenagers were different, she contemplated. They sometimes hit close to home, and she had seen that this time it had become a personal case for JJ. She had sensed it in her eyes: weary, dark, reminiscing herself as a teenager.

She knew they all had their secrets. Everybody had secrets, and being in a team with profilers didn't change the fact that they had a life of their own. Or had had a life of their own, somewhere in the past, because lately the cases were piling up faster than they could handle.

She sighed and dropped her head. It was no use, thinking about the days yet to come; they hadn't arrived yet. Instead, she let her mind wander off again, thinking what could possibly have happened to JJ that made her connect to the victims.

There wasn't much she knew about her: she suspected, yes, but those were nothing else than suspicions, there was nothing to confirm anything.

She did know how she felt about JJ, similar to the rest of the team: she was innocent, she didn't show much emotion, though they all knew it was there. The innocence in her made them all want to protect her, even if it was perfectly clear JJ could handle herself.

She chuckled at the memory of Morgan, most protective of them all. It was sweet, really, to see how much he cared.

She frowned when she thought back to that one case, that one case that told them things about Morgan they'd never even suspected. At least, she hadn't.

There was a pact between profilers not to profile each other, but she couldn't help but see things. The only thing she could do was try to forget those until they were needed, and not connect the dots. It had worked quite well, but she was still surprised she hadn't seen **anything** that pointed to Morgan having been molested. It was all so clear to her now, why he did some of the things he did. And she felt sorry for him in the truest meaning of the word.

She knew what it was like, being forced into things. She knew what it was like to try and push away painful memories; she thought everyone on their team did. It was natural thing for them, and a necessary one, too. They could not let their personal problems get in the way of a potential murder: they were there to solve the murder.

It was only natural that things got to them. In this job, they saw the worst of people, the worst of humanity.

That is why she felt so much respect for each and every one of her teammates: they got through it. They were strong, even though at times they may feel like they are not. Many people with insight eventually turned crazy, burned out or something similar, and while they'd all had their moments, they were still on the team, still helping people.

She was worried about Reid, though. She knew he had a drug problem ever since the case with Hankel. Being the person he was, she knew he was trying to get over it, but what happened those days still scarred him.

For some reason, it'd been easy for her to read him – though she tried not to. She just couldn't help but wonder at his brilliance, the way he acted, essentially, the way he **was**. She felt a similar protective urge she had with JJ: he was young and he didn't have the innocence over him that JJ had, more like a … naivety, a cuteness. She guessed it was because he was so socially inept, which was actually quite funny to watch: the man knew pretty much everything there was to know, yet around people he behaved like an awkward teenager, afraid to say something wrong.

She felt that he was hiding behind his knowledge. Whenever he ranted off one of his stories, the focus didn't lie on him but on the story he was telling, and only with strangers they were surprised. It was fine by her, she was interested in what he had to tell, well most of the time anyway. Sometimes she just wished he'd shut up, but she knew it was partly his way of coping with things, of trying to fill in the silence, and she knew she had to give him that much freedom.


	2. Chapter 2

The second part… They still don't belong to me, but I still enjoy writing about them

The second part… They still don't belong to me, but I still enjoy writing about them.

Maybe I broke it off at a wrong place, but I couldn't find another place, and in one piece it would've been too long. So here, part no. 2…

In a way, she mused, they were two teams, though easily mixing into one. Hotch and Rossi both were father figures, as Gideon had been – and like any other father, they both stood apart and were a part of their children. It was uncanny to see how fatherly they were sometimes: it was surprising, too, because officially they were a team, not a family.

She guessed they knew more about Hotch than about Rossi, but only because he'd been with them much longer. Rossi did not seem to have much of a problem with talking about himself, and she didn't know what to think of it. It was partly a relief, a welcome break from the general pattern. But it also made her wonder… He was a strange man, not like anyone she'd met before, and she'd met quite some people.

Hotch was strong and severe, but she knew that behind that stern look someone soft was hiding: she'd seen the way he acted with his son and it had convinced her that he was a good father. And good fathers were not always strong and severe, not in her point of view.

As her thoughts were drifting from one person to another, becoming less coherent as time passed by, a cell phone disrupted the silence. She instantly recognized it as Morgan's cell: he had some Hawaiian tune as his ring tone.

"Hey, baby doll."

_Garcia_, she thought: Garcia was the only one she knew Morgan would call that way.

Garcia was as much part of their team as anyone else: she knew that she sometimes didn't feel that way, because she stayed here behind her computers while the others were out in the open, but the connection wasn't about distance.

Garcia was able to lighten their days for a bit. With her sense of humour she brought a smile to everyone's faces. A weary, tired smile maybe, but inevitably a smile. Even Hotch could not hide his appreciation behind the mask of annoyance he wore sometimes.

When she had first met Garcia, she instantly knew the role Garcia played in this team: the light one, the distraction. She knew that Garcia was by no means any easier off that any of them were. Who knew what she saw on those computer screens of hers? Plus, she knew that Garcia had many demons of her past, and that those demons came to visit her occasionally.

She felt helpless at such times, because she was still quite new: even though she had been in this team for nearly a year now, she hadn't started feeling like a part of it until recently. And still she did not know how to react when she saw their personal, painful side: when she saw Hotch's face darken at the mention of Haley and Jack, when she saw Morgan's past catch up with him. When she saw Reid struggle with life, she wanted to reach out and help: but she didn't. She didn't feel confident enough yet.

She knew that JJ needed some support right now, someone to stay near her. Whether JJ talked or not didn't really matter: she needed to know someone was there for her.

Her relationship with JJ was different than with the rest of the team, if only because they were the only women. Of course, Garcia was there, and she knew JJ and Garcia were quite close: but Garcia wasn't out in the field with JJ.

She felt that especially during cases like the one they'd just had that they were connecting: teenagers, young women, women around their own age. At least half of their victims were women, and it was always different, in a strange way…

It made the men more protective and the women bond more. She really could not explain why: all she knew was that it comforted her, to know she was safe in this team, to know that, if they could help it, they would help her through anything. They wouldn't let her get hurt. Not again.


End file.
